Dr. John Van Epp, author of the book, “How to Avoid Falling Love with a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind” suggests using the RAM (Relationship Attachment Model) approach to gauge the healthiness of a relationship. The RAM method focuses on five different areas in which humans bond to one another: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch. To create and maintain a healthy relationship and well-bonded, these five areas need to be balanced.
Scientists have found that love is blind, but you don’t have to be. There is a way to keep your head and heart in balance when approaching a relationship or long term commitment. Utah State University, recommends considering five areas when developing a relationship.
These can easily be referred to by using the acronym of getting to know their FACES:
F– Family background: The dynamics of childhood and family of origin experiences greatly shape the roles you fulfill in dating and ultimately in your marriage.
A– Attitudes and actions of the conscience: Much of how a person acts in a relationship and especially a marriage is related to the maturity and functioning of his/ her conscience.
C– Compatibility potential: In successful relationships, partners have a blend of similarities and differences in personalities, backgrounds, and lifestyles.
E– Examples of other relationship patterns: History often repeats itself. Understanding the patterns of a person’s other relationships is vital.
S– Skills for building and maintaining relationships: Communication and conflict resolution techniques are important to learn.
It’s very important that an individual become the best and healthiest person they can before entering into a relationship. Learning how to keep your heart working together with your mind will empower you to build healthier relationships. Remember to work on your friendships too!
Guest post by: Rebecca Andreason